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midnight audio diary

by Stephanie Marmalade

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1.
gosh 01:16
im having dreams about you im having fucking dreams about you turn off the great machine in my head i wanna sleep forever id rather be dead if you think that you can get away with crime you are surely mistaken yeah youre in for it this time i feel a little like that dude from pulp fiction i got blood on my hands and i cant get it off
2.
space 00:35
i dont wanna go to work everything feels so weird im sick of writing shitty songs just give me a break man get me out of this place take it with me just in case i think i need some space just give me a break man
3.
states 01:40
i got more blood in my urine than i do in my heart i wanna smoke more weed because im falling apart i wanna be way nicer to my friends but these 48 hours will never end i wanna be a good buddhist like i know i should i wanna do the stupid shit that i never could i wanna start smoking cigarettes to get in on these five minute breaks ive been traveling from state to state running away from every heart i break im a dream killer heart breaker money grabbing waste of a friend im sick of coworkers doing heroin im sick of getting hit on by straight cis men im sick of people telling me what to do like what the fuck why should i listen to you i wanna say whats what to the police force i wanna take away their guns and disarm them by force i wanna write more poems for my friends but ill fuck it all up and accidentally offend them and then they'll hate me for good ive been traveling from state to state running away from every heart i break im a dream killer heart breaker money grabbing waste of a friend
4.
empathy 01:19
violent energy floods from my lungs to the room shaking nervous and twitchy like a human typhoon i am young and i am strong and i am me i have lungs and they breath i have a heart and it beats have a sense of empathy i am a human being
5.
6.
cassette 00:36
smell campfire in the air purify my dirty hair critters crawling everywhere look at you just standing there you are a mountain and i am a cigarette you are my comfort zone i am your old cassette
7.
willow 01:15
8.
i am full of artifical sweetener you keep giving me all of this fake sugar youre gonna make me think that i matter to you youre gonna make me wanna do shit that i cant do to you i will fill this apartment with my bitter rage ill refuse to eat and wont shower for days i will waste away i will stay out of the kitchen you will say that you love me but i wont listen i am jesus christ i am muhammed ali i will float like a butterfly and sting like a bee i am a young jackie chan i am an older bruce lee i am a victim of police brutality i am christa mcauliffe youre the rocket ship you'll make a minor mistake and i will pay for it i am bilbo baggins and youre the magic ring you are a subway wall and i am keith haring

about

id like to thank everyone who kept me alive while i was working on this album
everyone involved with skunkpop collective
joan, saturn, avery, eileen's mom and everyone else who's let me live in their house in the last couple years
all my punk emo rave kid and skater friends from huntington west virginia
all the kids who hang out at concord skate park
eileen goldberg//englewood popstar for unending support and creative influence and for screaming on track 4
willow//dogmeat starboy for critiquing my music and being my friend, track 7 is dedicated to her
sprimki for making my fursona for the art!! please support them here www.instagram.com/sprimki/

all my new hampshire friends, anyone who supports my music, i love you all so much thank you for listening
<3

credits

released July 28, 2021

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all rights reserved

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Stephanie Marmalade

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donations go into my savings to pay for trans girl medicine and doctors visits :+)
🐀❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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